satans-fabulous-blog:

morphingly:

brightredkettle:

are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes

with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks

That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.

(via distinctmemory)

ringostarring:

ok, new theory. maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us

well maybe we would sound so bad if some people didn’t try to play with big meaty claws

what did you say, punk?

bIG

MEATY

CLAWS

WELL THESE CLAWS AIN’T JUST FOR ATTRACTING MATES

BRING IT ON OLD MAN, BRING IT ON

no people let’s be smart and bring it OFF

OH SO NOW THE TALKING CHEESE IS GONNA PREACH TO US

(via distinctmemory)

(Source: whateverforgetit, via batsarequiet)

(Source: mirandasexnoise, via esi-bear)

2ollux2:

kisaragishintaro:

roseonabeach:

mriloveyourhat:

bagelhogger:

methlabrador:

over 3 decades of groundbreaking advances in information technology and now here we are

SCREAMING BECAUSE AHHHHH.COM IS CAT

PLAY THE GAME PLAY THE GAME PLAY THE GAME

WAIT BUT http://www.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.com/

GUYS

http://www.ahhhh.com/

i dont know but http://www.ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.com/ is pretty amusing

http://www.ahhhhhhhhhhhh.com/ is the most psychedelic thing i’ve ever seen 

(via sicktwistoffate)

qrapes:

enjoy-nq:

aww

if this isn’t the definition of adorable then i don’t know what is 

(via philophobiadisease)

jacklullaby:

jacklullaby:

unfollower:

men should take advantage of the lack of dress code rules set for guys and wear mini skirts and tank tops to school every day

OH MY GOD  LAST YEAR THE DUDES ON MY CLASS HAVE DONE IT

AND THEY GOT ALL CALLED IN THE PRINCIPAL’S ROOM

BUT THEY DIDNT GOT IN TROUBLE BECAUSE

THEY SAID EXACTLY IT “BUT THOSE RULES ARE ONLY FOR GIRLS”

I’M NOT EVEN JOKING

(via distinctmemory)

chafing-nipples:

dangermat:

when bananas rot they secrete stuff that makes other fruit including bananas near them rot faster
that’s so fucked up that is murder suicide
bananas commit murder suicide

that’s pretty fucking metal

(via distinctmemory)

-everysecond:

I think taylor swift should walk in while kim kardashian is in labor and say “hey kanye i know you’re having a baby and all, but i just wanted to say that beyonce had the best baby of all time”

(via distinctmemory)

(via sicktwistoffate)